Yeah, you've just had some bad luck I guess, or maybe you need more patience (oldslab). So, I've climbed for about 8 years longer than my girlfriend, who's climbed for just over a year. Her potential is quite sick, though she has a super busy life and not enough time to train or climb to catch up to me, but it don't matter. I see it as an investment every time I lower my ambitions and we climb together, the more her confidence and experience grows the faster we become as a climbing 'team', then we can have sex on ledges and on the summit, and that's f-ing rad. One day maybe we'll do the nose and screw like dogs on top of El Cap.
So sometimes it's frustrating and I wish I was climbing with the boys doing harder climbs, I figure she'll be climbing close to that hard in a few years, then I'll be glad I was patient. My climbing ability suffers a bit but so what? I'm not trying to be sponsored or written about, I just want to have fun and get scared once in a while and go on adventures with great people. Always continuting to improve though.
I encourage her to climb with other girls because she has a lot of fun doing that, and her confidence is built better that way when she is leading, and building anchors and being self reliant. So it's like when we climb again together, she's a little quicker and more eager to take a lead. It's really cool to watch other peoples abilities grow, and it's a really nice surprise when I notice that she is really getting to know the in-and-outs
of gear placement and building anchors and all that stuff.
It's all about being patient, and it really helps to get that in your mind at the beginning of the day cause if you expect too much then you're going to get pissed. I usually take the oportunity to try and lead the easier stuff with less pro, and try to speed up my systems and things like that, practice with different belay techniques (munter, etc..), sometimes I'll try and do the route with only passive gear (but still carry cams incase the anchor requires em). You know, stuff like that is fun to do, even leading moderate routes in approach shoes is fun to try, and makes it scary too.
I could have easily said 'F' this after the first few frustrating times climbing with my girl, but it's getting more and more fun each time we go out, and we learn a lot more about each other. Climbing opens up different sides of us that arn't accessible in normal mundane life, it's nice to share that.