Author Topic: Bad Belay Technique  (Read 2218 times)

Offline rpdoucette

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Bad Belay Technique
« on: January 16, 2009, 04:12:43 PM »
So ¦it,s my first time climbing in Acadia National Park.  We are at Otter Cliffs, along with everybody else, enjoying our first time climbing sea cliffs.  The sun is out, the rock is warm, it,s great.  We set up a toprope on a particularly nice line, but for some reason I don,t recall now, I am belaying from above, sitting on the edge of the cliff with my legs dangling over the edge.  That,s always tricky for the belayer, as you tend to get your hand or leg trapped under the rope if the climber falls.  It works ok if you can find a higher anchor, and you stand up on the clifftop next to the anchor, but sometimes all you have is a low anchor right near the cliff edge...so I clip in behind my harness and sit down.

So I belay my friend up this climb and she finishes.  Nice job.  Now I begin to lower her.  But Ive got puffy fleece pants on, and as I lower her a piece of the pants get caught in the belay device.  Shit, that,s never happened before.  I figure it will come loose, so I just keep lowering her.  And more of the pants are sucked into the belay device.  I think you know where this is going.

After a few feet of lowering, what gets sucked in next?  Yup, my underwear.  Now we have a ... situation.  How far is this gonna go?  She,s not at the bottom yet.  I don,t know what to do, and I figure it,s a short route and the lowering cant last that long, so I continue lowering.  The underwear keeps going ¦then ¦my Johnson follows the underwear.  Now I stop what I,m doing and think real hard about other options.  I,m no Simon Yates, so Ive got no knife handy to cut the rope.  This is quite embarrassing and there,s around a hundred people all over the cliff.  What am I gonna do ¦yell  Help Ive got my dick caught in my belay device ¦Come save my dick!!! ¯ 

I figure I just gotta keep up what I,m doing and hope this ¦comes to an end real fast.  But I,ve definitely got a piece of my dick in there ¦luckily not the end but the side sorta ¦so I figure its not actually gonna really go IN there.  So, I keep it up and VERY SOON I guess the capacity of the belay device is maxed out and my dick breaks loose...I doesnt go springing back or anything..lets not get all dramatic.  But a small piece of skin is torn off, just before my partner reaches the ground.  I extract my clothing from the device, without anyone looking, and inspect my boys to make sure all is well.  I am missing a tiny piece of skin, but everything appears ¦operational. 

As soon as I get home I read up on belay technique and throw away the puffy pants. 

- Almost Dickless

Offline meclimber

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2009, 04:39:45 PM »
greatest tr ever!  Glad you and the boys are OK
Jon Howard

Offline Admin Al

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2009, 05:37:38 PM »
that's hysterical   :-X

--al
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Offline Dizz

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2009, 08:13:56 AM »
So, this is why you call your belay device "The Moyl"!

IBBY!
Dizz
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Offline The other tomcat

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2009, 06:25:15 PM »
I got a piece of my thigh sucked into my ATC once,that was bad enough....
Tom Stryker

Offline perswig

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2009, 06:43:32 AM »
What?  No pics?
If it's overhanging, I'm probably off-route.

Offline old_school

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2009, 08:34:46 AM »
Great Story!!
I bring my DICK with me on every climb...it's my "nuts" that I often leave at home!!!   ;D  ;)
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you will be a mile away from them and you will have their shoes."

Offline tradchick

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2009, 10:10:51 AM »
Thanks for the laughs!!

I have long hair and had leaned over on rappel to see where I was going and leaned a little too far....some of my hair was sucked into my ATC and ripped out.  I think I drank an extra beer or two that night.

Offline Dizz

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2009, 11:28:12 AM »
I have known guys who have had beards sucked into devices while rapping. Sounds painful just thinking about it.

IBBY!
Dizz
"At either end of the social spectrum there lies a leisure class."

Offline Admin Al

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2009, 02:17:19 PM »
I saw a lady get her very long hair get sucked in at Quincy Quarries many years ago.

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Offline T_Moon

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2009, 04:30:43 PM »
I can't help but reference this thread from years back:

http://www.neclimbs.com/smf_bbs/index.php?topic=826.msg4887#msg4887

There is no lack of Acadia stories to tell... and Jeff Butterfield tells them with style!
If you want to get to the peak, you ought to climb without giving it too much thought.

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Offline tradmanclimbz

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2009, 05:35:30 PM »
Helmet chin strap sucked in makes for an awkward rap.

Offline rpdoucette

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2009, 09:31:49 AM »
I will post another dumbass story each month or so.  I might run out by the end of the year. 

Next month:  Lightning Up My Ass. 

Offline OldEric

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2009, 10:02:38 AM »
I don't think that the general interest on "things Doucette has done to his nether regions" will last until the end of the year.  I have been told that there are other sites that might find these stories more interesting.

Offline sparrow

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Re: Bad Belay Technique
« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2009, 10:51:23 PM »
nonsense, this is certainly the prime venue for it!